i'm a Smoker

i've been fighting with everyone today. i know, what's new right? my family thinks i'm stressed. i've thought about it. they're right. i'm flipping out. i have one last shot to take the DLAB before I leave for the navy, and if i don't pass i don't get the job i want and i've been dying to have and i enlisted just to get. if i don't pass, i'm not sure if i really want the job i have. but i don't really have a choice. plus, my weight is over. i was 147 when i enlisted, and i was 166 last week. my max is 160. the navy is PISSED at me. i don't get to ship if my weight doesn't drop. on top of that, i can't take the DLAB if my weight doesn't drop. fml is what i feel like shouting. i'm flipping out. they asked me on top of it if i've changed anything in the last 6-9 months that could have made my weight go so high. i haven't really chnaged the way i eat or work out, and around Nov is when my weight went up. it was about 147-151 consistently until then. then, i stop smoking in Nov. suddenly my weight goes up to the 160's! SHIT! i'm pretty sure it's because i stopped smoking. i started up again a little. i bought a pack last friday, finished it last night so it took me a week. i've already dropped six pounds, and i haven't even changed anything! i'm seriously considering taking up smoking again in order to get my weight down. i can't afford to lose my contract. i don't want to smoke, i know my boyfriend won't be crazy but at the same time won't care. if that makes sense.... plus basic is a smoke free zone, i won't even be able to smoke after that so it's not that big of a deal. i won't smoke once i join, but i'm afraid it'll make running harder. GAH too much of a decision. i keep putting off packing too....